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Were she willing to admit to such things, Demelza would have to acknowledge she's just the slightest bit nervous about having Baz over.
It isn't that she doesn't trust Baz or that she thinks he might judge her, but that she wants terribly to please him. He's been so kind to her right from the start and she's come to carry quite the affection for him, thinking of him almost as she'd thought of Jinny, someone to care for, someone who perhaps might be taken under her wing. It's that strange to think of anyone in such a manner, especially when there's so much for her to learn herself, but if there's one thing Demelza knows, it's her own mind, and she knows what she feels.
She's a mother, after all, soon to be a mother of two, and she can feel when people are in need of someone like her. Jinny had wanted for a little guidance, especially after Jim's arrest and his awful, preventable death, and Demelza hadn't thought herself fit to give it, but perhaps she'd been wrong. Perhaps there are those who might take to her simply because her feelings are so free, so unconstrained.
Whatever it is, she's invited Baz over to repay him for all he's done. She's preparing a lunch and Julia is content on the floor beside Demelza, sitting comfortably and chewing on some of her toys. There are still come teeth coming in and Demelza ducks down to check on her daughter every so often, though her growing belly has begun to make that difficult, and she kisses Julia's soft hair gently.
"Soon you shall meet Baz," she says to her daughter. "He's very sweet and I think you shall love him."
It isn't that she doesn't trust Baz or that she thinks he might judge her, but that she wants terribly to please him. He's been so kind to her right from the start and she's come to carry quite the affection for him, thinking of him almost as she'd thought of Jinny, someone to care for, someone who perhaps might be taken under her wing. It's that strange to think of anyone in such a manner, especially when there's so much for her to learn herself, but if there's one thing Demelza knows, it's her own mind, and she knows what she feels.
She's a mother, after all, soon to be a mother of two, and she can feel when people are in need of someone like her. Jinny had wanted for a little guidance, especially after Jim's arrest and his awful, preventable death, and Demelza hadn't thought herself fit to give it, but perhaps she'd been wrong. Perhaps there are those who might take to her simply because her feelings are so free, so unconstrained.
Whatever it is, she's invited Baz over to repay him for all he's done. She's preparing a lunch and Julia is content on the floor beside Demelza, sitting comfortably and chewing on some of her toys. There are still come teeth coming in and Demelza ducks down to check on her daughter every so often, though her growing belly has begun to make that difficult, and she kisses Julia's soft hair gently.
"Soon you shall meet Baz," she says to her daughter. "He's very sweet and I think you shall love him."
