(june)

Jeremy -- or Verity, Demelza reminds herself -- has gotten rather active of late, which has resulted in a distinct lack of sleep on Demelza's part. Though twenty-six weeks closer to the end than the beginning, she feels as though she still has far too long left to be with child and has found herself cursing the little one whenever he or she wakes her up in the middle of the night.

It isn't fair to the child, she knows that, and once the baby is born Demelza knows she'll be as completely in love with him or her as she was with Julia Grace when she had first arrived, but she'd not enjoyed being pregnant with Julia and she's not particularly enjoying this either. The difference in time does mean some things are a fair bit easier, but she dislikes how often she's meant to see her doctor, feels as though it cuts into what limited free time she has and she sees no reason for it.

That she has a free afternoon now is cause for celebration, however, and she's made plans to see Julie, which she's very much looking forward to. There's no possible way for anyone to fill the hole Verity has left in Demelza's life, not when Ross's cousin has become so important to her in such a short period of time, but Julie has also become incredibly special to her. Demelza values each and every one of her friendships and is terribly excited to spend the afternoon with Julie.

Even if she is terribly and uncomfortably round.

(june)

Were she willing to admit to such things, Demelza would have to acknowledge she's just the slightest bit nervous about having Baz over.

It isn't that she doesn't trust Baz or that she thinks he might judge her, but that she wants terribly to please him. He's been so kind to her right from the start and she's come to carry quite the affection for him, thinking of him almost as she'd thought of Jinny, someone to care for, someone who perhaps might be taken under her wing. It's that strange to think of anyone in such a manner, especially when there's so much for her to learn herself, but if there's one thing Demelza knows, it's her own mind, and she knows what she feels.

She's a mother, after all, soon to be a mother of two, and she can feel when people are in need of someone like her. Jinny had wanted for a little guidance, especially after Jim's arrest and his awful, preventable death, and Demelza hadn't thought herself fit to give it, but perhaps she'd been wrong. Perhaps there are those who might take to her simply because her feelings are so free, so unconstrained.

Whatever it is, she's invited Baz over to repay him for all he's done. She's preparing a lunch and Julia is content on the floor beside Demelza, sitting comfortably and chewing on some of her toys. There are still come teeth coming in and Demelza ducks down to check on her daughter every so often, though her growing belly has begun to make that difficult, and she kisses Julia's soft hair gently.

"Soon you shall meet Baz," she says to her daughter. "He's very sweet and I think you shall love him."

(june)

It's far too early for the baby to come. Far too early, but it's the middle of the night and Demelza is awake with a pain all the same.

It had begun several hours earlier, before they had even gone to bed, but she hadn't mentioned it to Ross then, seeing little reason to worry him. She had fallen asleep easily enough, as she usually does when Ross is beside her, but they'd woken her an hour ago, the pain coming in waves through her belly, and she had pressed her fingers down gently on the baby and willed him or her to move.

But the baby was still.

Demelza knows that's no reason to worry, that the baby won't always be moving, and yet there is panic beginning to claw at the back of her throat. Something is wrong. There's a terrible voice hissing low in the back of her mind, telling her she's going to suffer some horrible loss here tonight. Something is very wrong. Wake Ross.

Eventually she can no longer stand it and she sits on the edge of their bed and gently shakes Ross's shoulder.

"Ross," she whispers. "I've a pain."