Demelza Poldark (
letitbetrue) wrote2016-08-17 03:08 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Entry tags:
[september 4]
It's likely there are those who would find the habit strange, but Demelza has discovered a certain peace in visiting the cemetery on particularly quiet days.
She'd first come out here months ago while exploring, having found the place purely by chance, and now she comes to visit once or twice a month, usually bringing flowers along with her. There are so many graves here, so many more than she's ever seen before in her life, and there are far too many of them without flowers. It makes her wonder who mourns for these people, if perhaps they had no one in their life or if their own family and friends are long dead and gone as well. There are times when she creates stories for them all, imagining them as people other than who they might have been, but for the most part she just leaves them flowers and then walks on.
It's a fair distance from home, even from the city proper, but she's never had cause to worry about it before today. The cemetery grounds stretch far and wide, but she enjoys the walk, and it's as she's headed toward one particularly lovely monument near the back that she feels a painful sort of tugging down near the tops of her thighs. She pauses for a moment, then continues on, seeing no reason not to keep walking. The pain comes again a few moments later and Demelza stops again, one hand atop a gravestone.
She wishes suddenly she'd brought Garrick with her, if only to have someone to speak with.
Once she feels well enough to continue, she makes her way to the stone angel, lays a few bluebells at its feet, then gives it a gentle pat and turns to go back the way she's come, which is when the worst of the pain rips through her. It's the worst sort of cramping she's ever felt, worse even than when Julia had been born, and she cries out, clutching at the angel's foot in an attempt to keep herself upright.
It's a long walk back to the entrance of the cemetery, longer still to get back into the city and she is suddenly deeply afraid.
"Judas," she curses, then sucks in a few deep breaths and remembers her portable telephone. For the most part Demelza doesn't use it, but she fumbles it out of her dress pocket now, using the button and the screen as Abby had taught her, then pressing the button that will call Ross.
"Oh, Ross, please pick up," she begs softly as the telephone rings. "Please, please pick- Judas God!" she curses again as another contraction tears through her.
She'd first come out here months ago while exploring, having found the place purely by chance, and now she comes to visit once or twice a month, usually bringing flowers along with her. There are so many graves here, so many more than she's ever seen before in her life, and there are far too many of them without flowers. It makes her wonder who mourns for these people, if perhaps they had no one in their life or if their own family and friends are long dead and gone as well. There are times when she creates stories for them all, imagining them as people other than who they might have been, but for the most part she just leaves them flowers and then walks on.
It's a fair distance from home, even from the city proper, but she's never had cause to worry about it before today. The cemetery grounds stretch far and wide, but she enjoys the walk, and it's as she's headed toward one particularly lovely monument near the back that she feels a painful sort of tugging down near the tops of her thighs. She pauses for a moment, then continues on, seeing no reason not to keep walking. The pain comes again a few moments later and Demelza stops again, one hand atop a gravestone.
She wishes suddenly she'd brought Garrick with her, if only to have someone to speak with.
Once she feels well enough to continue, she makes her way to the stone angel, lays a few bluebells at its feet, then gives it a gentle pat and turns to go back the way she's come, which is when the worst of the pain rips through her. It's the worst sort of cramping she's ever felt, worse even than when Julia had been born, and she cries out, clutching at the angel's foot in an attempt to keep herself upright.
It's a long walk back to the entrance of the cemetery, longer still to get back into the city and she is suddenly deeply afraid.
"Judas," she curses, then sucks in a few deep breaths and remembers her portable telephone. For the most part Demelza doesn't use it, but she fumbles it out of her dress pocket now, using the button and the screen as Abby had taught her, then pressing the button that will call Ross.
"Oh, Ross, please pick up," she begs softly as the telephone rings. "Please, please pick- Judas God!" she curses again as another contraction tears through her.
no subject
"Alright, if they say there's nothing to worry about, I suppose we have no choice but to believe them," Ross says, though it's hardly alleviated any of his stress. Still, he trusts those helping Demelza to know what they're doing, even if he doesn't understand a great deal of it. They aren't the likes of Choake, at least not the ones he's met. Most have been more in line with Dwight's principles, and he knows his friend would urge him to remain calm now.
Glancing up through the window of the taxi, Ross can see the hospital ahead, and he lets out a short sigh of relief. "I'll be waiting, my love. I'll see you soon."
no subject
"And here we are," the woman says as they pull up outside of the hospital. "All with nothing to worry about, just like I said. Is this your first baby?"
Demelza shakes her head. "My second, though tis my first in Darrow. All this is very different than what I'm used to." She never thinks twice about telling people she's not from Darrow, doesn't understand the fuss about it at all when she's sure people can tell simply by looking at her, at the way she dresses and the language she uses. Still, two of the people in the ambulance exchange a glance that's not unnoticed by Demelza and had another pain not gripped her, she knows she would have asked what they thought they were doing, looking at each other like that with no regard for her or her baby, just because they're from somewhere else.
But by the time the pain has passed, she's all but forgotten, especially as she spots Ross through the window.
"There's my husband!" she says, pointing as they begin to unload her from the ambulance. "Ross, I'm here!"
no subject
While that may be the case, it doesn't stop him from pacing outside the doors where the ambulance is meant to arrive. He's sent a message to Abby to tell her the baby is coming and after receiving a text with an excessive number of exclamation points, Ross had asked her to kindly bring Julia to the hospital along with a bag for Demelza.
When he finally spots his wife, Ross feels as though an enormous weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She looks like she's been cared for well enough by those accompanying her, and he rushes to her side to grasp her hand. "You're alright," he says, flashing her a brief smile before his brow creases with concern. "You are alright, aren't you?"
"She's doing great," a woman walking alongside them says, and Ross glances up at her with uncertainty. "Your wife's vitals are all stable and there weren't any complications on the way. The doctors will be able to tell you more once they see her but for right now, it's safe to say that the only thing you really need to worry about is how long it'll be before you meet your baby."
"Thank you," Ross says, nearly breathless with relief, and he smiles back down at Demelza, reassured. "Let us both hope it won't be too long."
no subject
No one seems angry with her for having had Ross call an ambulance, but she feels as if she could likely walk on her own now and glances at Ross almost apologetically for having worried him so.
"She were there almost before Doctor Choake could come back for me," she continues and she thinks she might be on the verge of rambling, but she's quite nervous about this entire thing. Having a child is one thing and she's of the mind she'd be able to do it again without much issue, but the hospital is still so new and strange to her, despite having spent time here upon arrival in Darrow. This just isn't how women have babies where she's from and if she's honest with herself, she'd much rather be in her own familiar bed right now, holding Ross's hand and having Dwight tend to her.
But Dwight is not here. The doctors only want to help and she's been told over and over that a sterile environment is for the best as it reduces the risk of infection. After being told, she'd gone to the library for books on infections and what cause them and she understands now why babies are had in hospitals, but that doesn't mean she has to like it.
"I've been reading, Ross, and most books do say the second child will come much faster than the first," she continues. "But Julia were so quick, I think this one must take at least a little while longer." They're wheeling her into the hospital and down a hallway, but she doesn't look away from Ross. "Right?"
no subject
It's a feeling he'd relished, and he looks forwarding to feeling it again when their next child arrives. He does hope it is sooner than later, as Demelza seems to think it will be, not only because of the anticipation but because he'd rather not see his wife through too much suffering. He can tell her all he'd like that it'll be worth it once they hold their baby in their arms but the truth of the matter is, it'd likely only earn him an angry glare. It would be fair enough, he's not the one subject to pains of childbirth, and Ross has never been one to believe women are only good for bearing children. If he was, he doubts Demelza would ever have been very taken by him at all.
"Well, this one is early," Ross points out, which he's still not entirely convinced is a very good thing, though they've been reassured more than a few times that it would be just fine if that were the case. His fear is that the baby will be too ill if he or she comes too quickly, that they'll be stuck in this hospital and awaiting the worst sort of news, but he recognizes that this is unlikely. After what'd happened to Julia, he isn't sure his heart could take much more hardship of that kind, and he reminds himself that they're in much better conditions in Darrow. The doctors, who are decidedly quite the opposite of Choake, will know exactly what to do and advise them best of what the next steps shall be.
"But everything will be fine," he promises, squeezing Demelza's hand. "I'm sure of it. Julia and Abby will be here soon and once the baby arrives, they'll let us return home in no time at all."
no subject
It's one thing, thinking of Dwight being the one to help her, but it's quite another, knowing all these strangers will be exposed to her most intimate parts.
"Ross," she all but whispers as the kind woman from the ambulance helps her to sit up and then walk to the bed within the room. "Ross, can 'ee help me undress and change into the gown they give me? I don't want..." She frowns then, the expression tight, her modesty taking over. She doesn't want them to see. It's one thing, too, showing herself to her husband, she knows he loves her and loves how she looks under her bodice and undergarments and she takes pride in the pleasure she can give him, but her body is hers alone, to be shared only with those she wants to see and Ross is the only man whose eyes should have the freedom to roam across her.
"Is that alright?" she asks one of the women. "That my husband help me without anyone else in the room? The baby's not comin' just yet and I'd feel that much better if it were only him t'see me."
"Of course," she answers, touching Demelza's arm. "We have a gown for you, he can help you into it. Your doctor is coming from his office, so he'll be a bit anyway. The nurses will take care of you, but I'll let them know you're changing with your husband first. We're not in any rush and I don't think your baby is quite ready to see the rest of us yet either."
"Thank 'ee," Demelza answers, flushed only slightly as the woman passes the gown to Ross.
no subject
He gets back up then, holding out a hand for Demelza to take so he can help her begin to undress. It's not unfamiliar, he's well-acquainted with what it takes to undo the ties of her dress, to slip the sleeves from her shoulders to reveal fair skin only he's ever had the privilege of touching. Today, especially, he goes about the task with reverence, not trying to ignite any heat between them but moving slowly all the same, taking care to make sure Demelza understands that he will be here for her through this, for as long as she wants him by her side.
"Next time," he says, his tone taking on a moderately sharp edge, "you won't be leaving flowers at graves so close to when you're meant to give birth to our child." Next time, he thinks, nearly laughing because he can't imagine having yet another son or daughter in their lives so soon after this one, and Ross suspects Demelza wouldn't be keen on that, either. Still yet, his point remains the same. "And when we're sent home, you're to take care of yourself, are we agreed? You're to rest, not run yourself ragged, no matter how tiresome you find it to sit still."
no subject
She doesn't love Ross because he saved her, but there's little sense pretending she'd gone with him initially for any other reason than to protect herself. She doesn't love him just because he rescued her, but it does cause her heart to swell whenever she thinks back to the fight he'd had with her father, how he'd refused to let her go back to such violence.
His fingers pass over the scars on her back as he undresses her and she doesn't flinch, doesn't care at all.
"Judas, Ross, are 'ee putting another in me so soon?" she asks with a laugh, avoiding the rest, as they both know she's not likely to relax quite as much as he would like her to. "Suppose it might be for the best. Then I'd not have to find my figure again only to lose it in another year or so if things were to take such a turn."
As he helps her back onto the bed, another pain overtakes her and Demelza winces, clinging to Ross's hand. "Tis a wonder any woman does this willingly," she says. "We must forget the pain as soon as we see our child."
no subject
He does wonder what's become of Wheal Leisure now. It doesn't matter, he supposes, not when there's no going back, but that doesn't make him any less curious.
In any case, his plans for his wife and children are growing larger in Darrow. There are things he'd like to do, though he hasn't shared any of them with Demelza yet, and Ross hardly has the makings of a plan yet but after their child is born and they've had time to grow accustomed to having a second baby, he wants to move forward. He'll have to find help, those who'll be willing to lend a hand without much more than the offer of food and water, but Ross hopes it will all turn out well in the end. In any case, he has more pressing matters to consider right now, so he turns his attention away from the future and refocuses it back on Demelza.
"Julia was worth the pain, was she not?" Ross teases, reaching out to press his hand again Demelza's swollen belly. "As this one will be, too. A girl, you think, right? Our own little Verity will soon join us in the world, and we'll fall in love in an instant. That will make three Poldark ladies who have a hold on my heart."
no subject
How such a thing is possible is truly beyond her, but she hadn't expected the surgeons here to be able to cure her and Julia either, but they had. And so she trusts them to do what's right by her and by their new baby.
"How do 'ee know she'll be a girl?" she asks, closing her eyes for a moment so she can try to relax and breathe. "Perhaps I'll give you a son, a little Jeremy Dwight." Though she must admit, the thought of having a daughter named Verity, after her dearest friend and Ross's most wonderful cousin, it does fill her with a warmth as well. What she wouldn't give to see them again, Verity and Dwight both, even Francis and Elizabeth. There are some wounds that nothing can mend, but they are family and she believes enough time has gone by that Ross might see it like she does as well.